Preparing for change when studying abroad | Opinions | Daily Collegian

I leave for London in 16 days.

I’ve told countless friends and family. I’ve written my departure date on work schedules, in text messages and now in columns. But I still don’t feel like I’m leaving. 

I drive down the dusty dirt roads of Vermont fenced in different shades of green. I peer over the edge of a river dock on still water. I laugh with my hometown friends while making tacos or bending the rules of bowling. I can’t imagine my summer being anything but this. 

I’m so fortunate to participate in an abroad program. I’m excited and anxious and bloody terrified. I confirmed my participation in the program months ago and have spent hours completing orientation courses and research about the Big Smoke. 

I learned to love tea, for Pete’s sake. I did everything I could to prepare myself for the actuality of my departure, to process that I’m moving across the pond for eight weeks. Yet it still doesn’t feel real. 

When will my abroad program feel real? When will reality come crashing down? 

My guess is on the airplane when there’s really no escape. 

This isn’t the first time I’ve felt such disbelief about a major change. I had similar feelings the summer before my freshman year of college. 

I was purchasing some dorm room necessities, like a shower caddy and a six-pack. I couldn’t fathom that I was moving to college. I couldn’t believe I would soon live in Pennsylvania with a random roommate in an unrenovated residence hall. 

Pollock Halls, you guys. Pollock. 

The move-in day inevitably arrived, and I felt all the same feelings as I’m writing this column — excited, anxious and bloody terrified. There was so much that was new and different than anything I’d ever experienced. I was overwhelmed but for the best reasons. 

I know that’s what my first few days in London will be like — the best kind of overwhelming, because I’ll be in freaking London, England.

The feeling of disbelief blossoms in all change, disbelief can be rooted in fortune or luck, sometimes fear or nerve. But the feeling of disbelief is a rest for those not quite ready to face the music. 

I leave for London in 16 days. I’m not quite ready for those 16 days to end. 

Maybe it’s naive to live in disbelief of something as major as an abroad program. But once the disbelief ends and the change begins, I’ll cherish the change so much more because it once felt impossible.

And London, England, feels like something worth cherishing. Cheers.

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